Blood Crazy Read online

  ‘Why the madness, then?’

  ‘It wasn’t an easy transition. First it was a tremendous shock. Imagine if you woke from a coma where you’re only very, very dimly aware of what’s happening in the world around you. Then bang … You know.’

  ‘Am I right in thinking this has something to do with what you were saying about this invisible force that we can’t see but that can control our lives?’

  ‘You’re getting there, Nick. Now, turn over, I’ll do your front … That’s it. Now … In effect what happened was that this new consciousness was a completely new mind. Also it was separate to the old mind that Neanderthals had possessed before. Nick, are you familiar with the scientific concept of the conscious and unconscious mind?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Well, anyone could check the reference in an encyclopaedia, but I’ll come back to that in a moment. Just imagine this, then: one night the conscious mind came into being. Neanderthals would feel as if they’d woken from a coma. Then what happened in their heads was nothing short of a civil war. The new conscious mind battled with the old animal mind for control of the body. We don’t know how long they fought one another, but during this transition period the confusion would be so great they would appear stark, staring mad. Control would switch back and forth between the conscious and unconscious mind. Also during this time would come the instinctive drive to destroy their own children. After a while, the new conscious mind defeated the old animal mind.’

  ‘So there were two minds in one head? Fighting one another?’

  ‘Precisely. Imagine them struggling for control. You’ve seen movies where two people fight for the control of a car. Anyway, eventually the old animal mind was pushed into the back seat where he’s stayed as a backseat driver ever since.’

  She left me to digest this as she made supper. My head was spinning. And it wasn’t just the beer. Questions spat into my mind.

  As we finished the pizza Bernadette licked the tomato sauce from her finger and said, ‘Right, we’re at the point where Neanderthals have suddenly acquired this new mind which has seized control of them and has turned them into conscious human beings who can reason and make decisions. For the first time they can think like you and me.’

  ‘Like I can think to myself, my name is Nick Aten, I’m sitting in a room, drinking a beer. That’s the conscious part of me?’

  ‘And that’s something no other animal on earth can do. You’re getting there, Nick. Right, let’s get back fifty thousand years to Neanderthal man. Their young still have the old animal mind. So basically we have two different species. There isn’t room in their territories for two competitors. One species must die. Now evolution has another trick up its sleeve. See that computer across there. If you hit the right keys you get my work files up on screen. If you hit other keys you get computer chess. Another key: war games. Buried in the computer’s memory banks are dozens of different programs – all complete. They’re just waiting for someone who knows the codes to summon them up. Your mind, Nick, and everyone else’s mind contains hidden programs like that computer. If you know the right code then you get access to them, and you can use them. You don’t believe me?’

  ‘I guess I do; it takes some digesting, though.’

  ‘You’ll have heard women say that until their first child was born they thought they’d never know how to raise children. Then as soon as baby’s born, ping! Suddenly, they feel like a natural born mother. Now, Nick. Imagine you’re eight years old. What would you do if a girl kissed you?’

  I grinned. ‘Want to hide in a hole. Boys hate girls at that age.’

  ‘But if a seventeen-year-old girl was to kiss you now?’

  ‘Ah, that’d be different.’

  ‘That’s because during your early teens your body clock pressed the right button and called up the new software program into your head. Not only did it overturn your old dislike of girls, it made them fascinating. It gave you information on how to get a girl for yourself and what to do, more or less, when you got her.’

  ‘I remember when I was thirteen, one of my friends wrote SEX, SEX, SEX all over his desk. It sounds banal now but we sniggered our heads off for hours.’

  ‘So fifty thousand years ago another software program was activated in the mind. And that was an overwhelming craving to destroy their own young. We’re seeing it happening now. A systematic and dedicated crusade by adults to annihilate their children. Because now we form a different species.’

  ‘And they won’t stop hitting the genocide button until we’re all dead.’

  ‘Or until we destroy them.’

  ‘So … It’s us or them?’

  ‘Correct. That’s why there are no Neanderthals left alive today.’

  ‘Why don’t we look like cavemen then, all hairy with heavy jaws?’

  ‘Once the profound mental change had taken place overnight, the physical changes into what we look like today probably happened quite gradually over a few generations.’

  ‘But what about the conscious and unconscious minds? How does that fit in today?’

  Bernadette smiled. ‘Lie down. Let me massage your back again. You know I’m getting as much pleasure from this as you are … Right.’ She took a deep breath and plunged in. ‘This might come as a surprise. The fact is you have two minds in your head. Again, if you want to go into it in more detail there’s a rack of psychology books there, help yourself.’ She poured massaging oil onto my back and began to work it beneath my shoulder blades. ‘One mind is the thing that makes you you. Your personality. Your likes, dislikes. Why you like to wear that leather jacket or why you prefer such-and-such a movie.’

  ‘This is the new conscious mind that overthrew the old animal mind, right?’

  ‘Right. But the old animal mind is still there in your head. He’s a back seat driver now. Now, here comes the big, BIG problem. The old animal mind was beaten, and he was locked away in the back of your head. But as the man Jung said, the ancient animal man inside your head, the unconscious mind, is actually more intelligent in some respects than your conscious mind – the Nick Aten part. To make matters worse the unconscious part is a powerful force. He still wants control of you. And over fifty thousand years locked away like a genie in a bottle he’s learnt ways to do it. He has access to that buried software I was talking about. And he can trigger it. Sometimes when we don’t want him to. When it’s inconvenient like when we want to speak to an audience and we get an attack of nerves. Sometimes the manipulation is more subtle – for example a passion for buying new clothes or that new car you can’t really afford.’

  For some reason I found myself thinking of Uncle Jack Aten, his craving to be a musician, then slowly rotting with cancer.

  ‘If you upset your unconscious then he can really make life tough for you.’ Bernadette worked at my neck muscles, fingers slipping smoothly across the oiled skin. ‘That hairy old manbeast in your head can inflict mental illness on you. He can make you feel depressed or anxious for no apparent reason at all. Stress you out so much you develop physical illness such as ulcers, heart complaints or even cancer.’

  I thought again of poor Uncle Jack and I knew she was right.

  ‘So,’ I said, ‘the war goes on. But the unconscious is now fighting a guerrilla war, using terrorist tactics.’

  ‘True. But over the last few centuries he’s also been saying let’s call it a truce. We both want the same thing. We want our physical bodies to be healthy and live long. So the unconscious says: from now on let’s work together. We’ll be an unbeatable partnership. One mind ancient and wise, the other, fresh, young, inventive, adaptable.’

  ‘But it wasn’t as easy as that.’

  ‘Correct. The conscious mind and unconscious mind are still radically different from each other. Imagine if you hook up two powerful computers so they can exchange information and work together. That’s what the two minds were straining towards. They have a problem, though. The link between them is far from perfect. Yes, you have your
two computers, but you’ve got the wrong cable connecting the two. Okay, some information gets through, but then you hit the other snag. You discover the two minds don’t speak the same language. With me so far?’

  ‘I reckon. Just.’

  ‘Please excuse all these comparisons to computers but it’s important to me that I convey what I understand to you. Again, imagine the conscious mind is the captain of a ship. Imagine he’s Russian. Now he can steer the ship, but it’s the engineer down in the engine room who controls the ship’s speed. We’ll say he is Scottish. Imagine there’s a problem. The engineer is trying to communicate with the captain but can’t get through. Every so often the captain shouts down Full Speed Ahead. But it’s in a language the engineer doesn’t understand. All the time they are shouting warnings and orders at one another but becoming more and more frustrated because they don’t understand each other’s language.’

  ‘And in the meantime the ship is rushing toward the reef.’

  ‘Exactly. Both the unconscious and conscious want to co-operate with one another. The unconscious only wants to be a good co-pilot, instead of the interfering back-seat driver.’

  ‘But how, if they can’t speak the same language?’

  ‘True. Our Russian captain can’t understand Scottie, our engineer – but there’s nothing to stop him learning the language.’

  Chapter Fifty

  Make Love to Me

  I fetched the beers. Bernadette lay back on the bed, looking at the ceiling. She was thinking hard. It was hugely important to her that I understood what she told me. But I couldn’t help wondering: WHY ME?

  ‘Cheers.’ She sipped her beer, a faraway look in her eyes. ‘Imagine, Nick. The benefits if we could get the two minds working together in harmony.’

  ‘It sounds great in theory. But would it make any difference to us in real life – I mean practical day to day benefits?’

  Her eyes widened. ‘I can’t even begin to guess the benefits. They would be enormous. You wouldn’t be able to achieve union with the Unconscious mind straight away – only in stages. But someone beginning to achieve this in their lives would begin to reap the benefits pretty quickly. Crudely put they could turn their fifteen thousand a year life-style into a twenty thousand a year one. Men and women who find happiness difficult to achieve would discover happiness. For example, instead of having a series of troublesome affairs, they’d find a satisfying long term relationship; people who feel lonely would now enjoy eternal companionship. I’m not suggesting all problems would vanish but you’d find them less of an obstacle and easier to solve. Are you with me so far?’

  I nodded.

  ‘People would be healthier physically and mentally,’ she said. ‘You would be less likely to suffer from even common ailments like colds or ’flu; and if you did you would recover faster. People might admit to being completely happy thirty percent of the time. How would you like to be completely happy sixty percent of the time? Now, faced with genocide from the adults and having to rebuild civilization all over again, the benefit of going into partnership with the old mind in your head is simple: SURVIVAL.’

  She took a sip of beer. ‘Old religions promised lots but rarely delivered. Even believers were troubled that they had more than their fair share of misery – and that when they spoke to their god he did not answer. This one does.’

  ‘Bernadette. Stop it right there.’ The beer nearly slipped through my fingers. ‘Earlier you said, not only was there a god, but you’d show me where he lives. I thought you were pulling my leg. But now you’re telling me there is a god and—’

  ‘And he’s closer than you think.’ She gently touched my temple. ‘The unconscious part of the mind. The old one in your head. This is what ancient people recognised as god.’

  ‘But they believed ancient gods lived in rivers, up mountains, in the sky?’

  ‘They did. But the human mind has a very clever trick called Projection. This is where people, without consciously doing it, transfer what they don’t like about themselves, or their fears, onto other people. Or even onto the world around them. A classic example is the Nazis’ hatred of the Jews. If the mind can’t handle a problem it simply boots it out of your head. When the sanity crash came for Neanderthals they projected the battle going on in their heads outwards. I know it takes some swallowing but don’t take my word for it. Pick up a book about ancient religions and right at the beginning there are myths about war in heaven. Look at the myths of hundreds of different tribes and civilizations and they all tell of a war between the old god who once ruled and the new god. The new god always wins, and the old god is always banished or imprisoned somewhere – never killed. Think of the struggle between the two minds, the new one wins, the other is banished to being backseat driver.’

  My face felt hot. ‘Christ Almighty, Bernadette, I shouldn’t be believing this … The trouble is, I am.’

  ‘Those legends are folk memories of what happened all that time ago.’ Deep in thought she gazed at the bottle in her hand. ‘The myths continue the story. The new god still struggles with the old god. And while the old god never succeeds in regaining power he finds subtle ways of interfering with humankind. I imagine that sounds familiar to you? The myths also say that in the future there will be a reconciliation between the old god and the new god. And that they will rule together.’

  ‘But let me get this straight. This unconscious mind that the ancient people identified as god didn’t, as the story goes, create the earth, the stars and – and—’

  ‘All creatures great and small?’ She smiled. ‘No. But it does have tremendous creative power. When we learn to listen to intuition which flows up from the unconscious what are we capable of? Great music, life-saving inventions, miracle cures, sending people to the moon … You name it. If you asked most inventors, scientists, artists and so on how they came by the idea to do what they did most will say they don’t really know – it just came in a flash of inspiration. Einstein actually dreamed solutions to some of his problems while he slept.’

  ‘Ah ha. You talked about dreams when I first came here. Adam was always having dreams where God tells him to do this or that.’

  ‘See, you’re hitting all the buttons now, Nick. Until Adam began to tune in and listen to the old mind in his head he was a suicidal neurotic. Look at him now. Happy, energetic, brimming with ideas. In fact the idea of this Ark and running power lines from the water turbines on shore actually suggested itself to him in a dream. That’s when the unconscious mind is most active, and most successful in communicating with us.’

  The blood was singing through my body now, tingling me from head to toe. I found answers to my questions leaping into my head before I could even ask Bernadette. ‘You talked about learning the language of the unconscious mind,’ I said quickly, ‘I’m right in thinking that one of the languages it speaks to us in is dreams?’

  ‘Yes.’ Her eyes shone. ‘I think deep down you knew this all along. It just needed someone to give you a few clues.’

  ‘Okay, I have dreams but they make no sense.’

  ‘And I imagine Russian wouldn’t either. The Russian might be telling you if you continue walking along the road you’ll fall down a big hole. But you think it’s just some agitated foreigner talking nonsense. It’d take too long to explain in detail now but one day you’ll want to look into it more. Just remember that dreams are the language of the old unconscious mind. It’s not talking to you in words but in pictures. And once you understand what these pictures or symbols mean, then you can begin your first real conversation.’

  ‘But how do you do that?’

  ‘One way to start is to remember your dreams: if you get a chance, write down a few lines of what you remember. It seems nonsense at first but as the days go by a pattern will begin to emerge. You may even begin to feel a change in yourself. People sometimes find dreams frightening, you know, loved ones dying or futilely groping round in the dark for something you’ve lost. That’s only the unconscious mind
getting frustrated and turning up the volume high to get you to listen.’

  ‘My mother once had a book about the interpretation of dreams to learn what’s going to happen in the future but—’

  ‘But you’re right: that’s fortune telling mumbo-jumbo. Forget those books. Listen to the real authority on the subject, the old wise one who knows.’ She touched my head. ‘The old gentleman in here.’

  She must have seen puzzlement in my face.

  ‘Here’s an example, then, of a dream which is basically a good dream but which seemed frightening at the time. When Adam went off the rails he dreamt he was wandering round the house he once lived in. Everything was familiar but he found himself being drawn to the top of the stairs. There, there was a door where no door existed in his own house. The door inexplicably frightened him. He didn’t want to enter but as this was a dream he had no choice. He opened the door. Beyond was a passageway. Beyond that he knew there was a room with something inside he didn’t want to see. He was terrified. He didn’t want to go to the room and he’d wake up screaming.’

  ‘So what is the old mind saying to Adam then?’

  ‘First the dream symbolism needs to be interpreted. When you dream about your home you are actually dreaming about yourself, your own personality. This dream is commonplace and simple to interpret. The unconscious mind is saying look, there are parts of you that are hidden, that if you can only find them you can use them. It revealed Adam’s solution to his problem as finding a new room in the house.’

  ‘So in dream language the hidden room was really the unconscious mind that lay hidden in Adam’s head?’

  ‘Precisely. It was saying look, there’s far more to you than you realise.’

  ‘But why the fear?’

  ‘Because it was new. That’s all. The new and the unfamiliar tend to make you nervous, even frightened. I remember I was terrified when I had my first driving lesson. Only because it was something new.’

  ‘So you got Adam into the hidden room.’